Why New Year, New Me Doesn’t Work and What to Do Instead

It’s a new year and many of us have chosen a word for the year, new goals (even if we’re unwilling to call them resolutions) in hope that it will help us to reignite excitement in our lives and our priorities. We are looking for a fresh start, if you will.

But, I’m not here to tell you about goals or what you should be doing this year. I want to talk to you about something that can change the way you approach today, tomorrow and in truth, the rest of your life. So, before we start, let’s straighten this out… January 1st is just another day. You don’t need a new year, a new month, or even a new Monday to give you permission to do something different with your life. So, if you started the year strong and you’ve already started to fizzle on your goals, breathe easy, friend. That can all change right now. I want to help you reach your goals, not just this year but in a way that serves you for the rest of your life.

First, know that if you’re ready to live the life of your dreams and step into the woman God designed you to be, it’s going to mean getting out of your comfort zone. It means recognizing where you are and where you want to go and being willing to take steps to close the gap. The hard truths we are about to walk through are for the woman who’s ready. The woman who wants more. The woman who’s sick and tired of being sick and tired. The woman who wants to be better every day. The woman who wants freedom and is willing to fight for it. So, if you’re ready for some of the hard truths, ready for change, ready to live your priorities, ready to look different from so many of the people in this world, ready to grow into the woman God’s calling you to be, then read on.

The truth is nothing changes until something changes. A new date or a new year isn’t enough to make us stick to the goals we’ve set (or set for the sixth time) or start fighting for the life we want. It’s bigger than that. You know what our real problem is? It’s not that we just can’t do it, that we think we don’t have what it takes, or that we’ll fail. It’s that we choose to let fear dictate our lives. We let fear be the deciding factor for our decisions. And, as long as we’re willing to let fear be our leader, we will not create the life of our dreams.

One of my favorite quotes is, “Fear kills more dreams than failure ever will.” If you’re not living a life you love or moving closer to your big dreams and goals every day/ month/ year, that’s an indicator that fear is your leader. You may not want to call it your leader because that stings. But, what else would you call the voice you listen to, make decisions from, and frame your life around? Or, is it that you aren’t sold that you operate out of fear?

How often do you decide not to try something because you think you’ll be bad at it or fail? And, you’d rather not do it than do it and suck/fail. Yeah, that’s fear. When you see someone with a seemingly perfect life on social media, your head space goes instantly into negativity, comparison, or all the life decisions you feel were wrong. Fear. Do you only feel like you’re doing things right or productive when you’re constantly busy? Fear again.

If reading this isn’t easy, get some comfort in knowing that writing it isn’t exactly filling me with warm fuzzies inside. I get it. Trust me. But, we can’t change what we refuse to identify. So, let’s just be uncomfortable together, identify it, and move forward. Sound good? Good.

Now that we’ve identified fear, let’s get something out of the way. We’re human. Fear is one of the enemy’s favorite tactics. It isn’t going anywhere, and it will absolutely be something we fight against throughout our lives. However, it’s much easier to fight what we have identified.

But, we have a choice. Fear or Faith. We can keep living the same way we always have or we can step into the woman God is calling us to be. We can choose to make 2023 one for the books. We can choose to follow Him in faith and watch what He does in our lives.

I was reading a book recently that had this quote in it, “Choosing a life of following God is choosing a life of mystery.” That’s what we have to realize when we choose to step into our best this year. It will be walking by faith not fear. It will be stepping out of our comfort zone, feeling the fear and doing things anyway. It will be choosing Him…because the plans He has for us are far greater than we think or imagine.

So, if you really want 2023 to look different, you have to make different choices. My hope is that even though fear will still be there, even though you’ll still feel it and fight it, that you’ll choose faith instead. Because there is one thing I know for sure, your life of freedom is embedded in your Father, the very One who created you.

If you are ready to change your life in 2023, I want to leave you with a few things that can help.

First, here’s one of my favorite tips for growing in Christ this year. When making a decision, if you’re not sure what to do or which is the right choice, choose the one that will allow you to experience God and get closer to Him. This is not always the easiest option, but it’s the option that will serve you the most and honor Him the most. It’ll be the one that’s worth it. (That tip came from Priscilla Shirer in her book Discerning the Voice of God, which I highly recommend)

And here are 3 questions that can help you determine your goals this year so that you can truly become the woman God designed you to be.

1. What are my top 3 priorities for my family in this season of life? How can I make these a focus daily?

2. Did the decisions I made today move me closer to the life I want, to my family, and most importantly to God? If not, how can I course correct or choose differently next time?

3. What gifts has God given me that I can make sharing a priority? (When you use the gifts and talents He’s given you, you will find more fulfillment in your day-to-day life. So, make answering this a priority. If you’re unsure, ask those closest to you.)

This post was about the hard truth we have to start with and acknowledge to create lasting change. But, if you want real ways to create habits now and quit quitting on yourself… meet me back here next month to dive into it. I’ve got you covered!

In the meantime, if the chaos of the new year is kicking yo’ booty and you need to save some time and energy, you need to join us in the FF hub! For the price of a latte a month, I’ve got tons of help so you can live with less stress and more energy. Sign up for a free month with code: FREE2ME! And, be on the lookout for some awesome additions to livefreedomfocused.com