Set Your Own Pace: Why You May Need to Slow Down in Order to Create a Life You Love

Is it just me or does it seem like the “busy” of everyone’s life just keeps growing? You try to catch up and somehow there’s always more when you blink. Our world asks so much of us. Dare I say, especially us women…? We always have full or even overflowing plates. To say it’s hard to keep up with everything would be an understatement. Most of us even begin to neglect parts of our lives that fulfill us, grow us, calm us, or fill our cups because we are so busy keeping up with the many demands and filling all the other cups around us.

Well, I think it’s time to change that.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t be there for the people we love, sacrifice our time or energy to help those in need, or give our very best at work. I’m saying I think it’s time we learn how to set the pace of our lives instead of letting other people or the never-ending to-do list do it for us. Because the truth is, if we don’t set the pace, someone else will.

This is something I’ve been working hard to figure out and become intentional about. I’ve been working to identify the reason(s) behind why I’m doing something, saying yes to something, choosing to rush around, etc. Because that’s just it…I’m choosing it. I’m saying yes to things I could say no to. I’m taking on responsibilities I don’t need to. I’m doing something because I want it done a certain way. I’m figuring it all out instead of figuring out what help would look like. Are you?

The first thing we have to do in order to change the pace in which we live is to acknowledge that some of this pain is probably, almost certainly, (in my case) self-inflicted.

Here’s the deal. It’s my life. It’s your life. We do get to choose. There are many aspects of our lives that we get to set the pace for, and sometimes we set a rushed pace because we think we should or we feel pressure around us, or because we don’t like to say no.

So, it’s time to reflect and look at the different areas of our lives so we can see what we can change in order to set a pace that will better serve our families in this season. And then it’s time to take action. At least that’s my plan. You do you. But…the alternative is to keep doing what you’re doing, feeling constantly tired, behind, anxious, or even resentful of others. If it’s not working, change it. Choose to change the pace. Set one that supports you and your family, whether it looks like what the rest of society is doing or not.

If you want to change the pace of your life, here are a few questions to ask yourself to get you started:

1. What area am I feeling the most behind/anxious in my life right now? How could I slow the pace of this area or get the support needed to maintain the current pace?

Ex: Let’s say your family has a busy schedule with kids’ sports and late night ball games. You always feel behind when it comes to your house being clean. This causes you anxiety and frustration every time you walk through the door. To slow the pace you may make a new rule that every time someone uses a plate or cup, they have to put it in the dishwasher. This way you get help staying on top of things. Or, you could give each person in the family (age permitting) a specific chore they’re responsible for. This way you aren’t carrying the weight all on your own.

It’s important for us to become solution oriented to create a life that doesn’t drain us for the sake of everyone around us. Someone once told me, “Everything is figureoutable.” You can figure this out.

2. Is there anything in my life that I’m saying yes to that needs to become a no in this season to honor myself, my family, and my sanity?

3. How could I fill my cup? (You are at your best when your cup is full) What is something you love that brings you joy and will fill you back up?

4. Am I operating at my best? If not. what do I need to start doing to operate at my very best?

Ex: Let’s say you’ve given up working out and neglecting your fitness because you “don’t have the time”. It’s time to set a new pace or get more support so you can start back. You neglecting yourself hurts you and everyone you love in the long run. It’s figureoutable.

Start thinking from a place of coming up with solutions instead of excuses and everything will change. You’re worth figuring it out. You and your family are worth setting a pace that actually WORKS. It’s your life too, remember?

Not sure where to start? The Freedom Focused Hub has recipe ideas, workouts, money saving tips, and more to help you combat decision fatigue and have more freedom in your everyday life. Learn more about the Freedom Focused Hub here.