The Most Stressful, I Mean Wonderful Time of the Year!

Queue the music! It’s officially the holiday season! There are less than 45 days until Christmas. Yes, you read that right. Now, what was your initial feeling or thought when you read that? Excitement? Overwhelm? Immediate stress? A whirlwind of all the above? Let’s talk about it.

Why don’t we start with the good stuff

There is definitely a level of excitement for women when the holidays approach. Otherwise, we wouldn’t pass around every holiday meme or reel we find on November 1st. I’m inclined to think it’s because we savor the parts of the holiday season we love. We think about the fun family crafts we’re going to do (even though they will most likely involve some raised voices, chaos, and a fleeting thought that it wasn’t worth the trouble), the extra time we’ll all get together, the delicious food and the short break from our never-ending diet. We think about the sparkle and excitement in our kids, and the look on our family’s faces when they open their gifts. And, those things are absolutely worth the chaos and craziness that comes

along with the holidays.

How Do We Find Freedom This Holiday Season?

This blog is about finding more freedom in our lives, finding real common ground with other women (that maybe isn’t talked about often), and knowing we aren’t alone. So, let’s get on with it. Yes, we can probably all agree there is real beauty, excitement, and love for the holidays. But I can’t be the only woman who immediately gets a little rush of stress as the holiday season approaches. It’s as if I somehow know it’s really “go time.”.

Why? Well, because for most families, we, the mamas/wives/women, make the magic happen. We are the ones that make the holidays what they are. 99.9% of the responsibility falls on us. Is that dramatic?? Maybe, but only a little. But really, we, the women, are what Santa Claus really looks like. And, it can be stressful to be Santa.

The never-ending to-do list, the non-stop activities, the parties, shopping, wrapping and prep. It’s a lot. And, it’s okay to admit that. But, what I want for us is to have a holiday season where we aren’t overwhelmed and stressed. I want us to figure out what it would look like for our families to have a mom/wife/sister/daughter that is actually enjoying every day as much as the rest of the family. I want us to feel like we don’t just make the magic, we receive it. No, we revel in it. I want this to be the first of our new normal when it comes to the holidays. Let’s change the game. Let’s turn this on its head. Let’s recruit some elves to help us and stop carrying it all alone, shall we?

3 Ways We Can Make Our Lives Easier This Holiday Season

Set boundaries

Decide now what’s important, what the focus is, and what the priority is this holiday season for yourself and your family. Politely decline what doesn’t align with that.

Here is an example based on my family. My daughter is almost two. This is the first Christmas that she will really get to enjoy the Christmas tree and lights, participate in the activities, and open her own gifts!

So for us, this year it's all about soaking that up from her little eyes. It's about experiencing Christmas fully from her perspective. This year, it’s not about going to all the parties or even spending a ton on her presents. This year it’s all about her experience and our time together. Which means, we will decline invites when we have plans to make cookies at home together. We’ll spend less on gifts and more on crafts and going to see lights. This year, it’s all about watching the magic through her eyes and being present enough to experience it with her.

Strategic shopping

If you're still putting it off, girllll, stop. You’re just adding unnecessary stress to your plate.

Create a budget for each person and an idea of what you’ll get for each of them. This way you’re sure to stay in budget and not create further overwhelm with overspending. This is also a great time to enlist your partner’s help so you don’t have to come up with it all by yourself. Oh, and single ladies, consider reaching out to a family member and going in together on a gift. Again, this helps the brainstorming process and cuts the cost. My brother and I have done this a lot for our parents. This may also allow you to get them something you normally wouldn’t be able to splurge on.

Release the feeling of having to do it all

I have friends who LOVE to decorate. It brings them so much joy. However, I loathe the very thought of it. You’ll see my tree and one wreath on my front door for the holidays. And, you know what? That’s enough for me. Let go of having to keep up with everyone else. Do what works for your family. I’m not adding the money or stress or storage for any more decorating. That’s just me. However, it wouldn’t feel like Christmas to my friends if they didn’t. And, that’s okay. My point is to release the feeling of having to do it all even though it sucks the very life out of you.

Do what is fun and joy-filled for you and your family and make those things the traditions! This will majorly help you to enjoy your holidays more and let go of a lot of that stress.

This is me giving you permission (that you don’t need btw) to stop forcing yourself to do the things you hate just to keep up with the Joneses. Your family probably doesn’t care, and everyone suffers when you’re stressed and overwhelmed.

And Now for A Hard Truth

I’m gonna end on a hard truth because sometimes they are necessary to move forward. This is one of those times. So, stop reading now if you aren’t ready to receive it…

Okay, you had your chance. Here it is. We are making things harder than they need to be. (Queue T-Swift, “It’s me. I’m the problem. It’s me.”)

That’s it. The holidays are stressful because we create this insane pressure and place it upon ourselves. I know, it comes from love. You want everything to be perfect for your family. You want them to have the best Christmas ever.. You know what they want? You. They want their mom/wife/sis/daughter to have fun, to actually play the games with them, to laugh when the cookies turn out a disaster, to wear the ugly sweater, to buy the gag gift. They want you to let loose and enjoy this holiday season with them. And trust me, when you give up that control, things are going to be far from perfect.

You may end up bringing ugly cookies to the class party and feeling embarrassed when you drop them off. But, you’ll also have the best memory, and your family will always have that. Soon, you won’t even care because you’ll love your traditions, your way, your life. So, go out and change it. Make this year different. Live freedom focused.