How to Create Lasting Habits and Quit Quitting on Yourself

We’re creatures of habit as the saying goes. But, if that’s the case, why can it be so hard to set new ones? Well, in short, we as humans avoid discomfort. And changing a current habit to implement a better, healthier one is almost always uncomfortable at first. So, if you want to implement real change, first you have to understand why you are having problems creating a new habit in the first place.

Let’s start with 3 of the primary reasons we quit on new habits, and as a by-product, quit on ourselves.

Why we quit:

1. We change too many things at one time.

Ex: When we make New Year’s Resolutions, we tend to look at every area of our lives and make new goals for every single area. New fitness goals, new health goals, new money goals, new career goals, new self-development goals…we want to change everything all at once. And, THAT is our first major problem.

The more we try and change at one time, the less likely we will be able to commit and make all of those into habits. And every time we quit on our goals, we are showing ourselves that we aren’t trustworthy and that we can’t do it. We are telling ourselves that we are never going to change and year by year we lose more confidence, so we stop trying at all.

2. We create a broad goal, but we don’t create a plan.

One of the biggest reasons we quit on our goals is because we decide WHAT we want to change, but we don’t lay out HOW we want to change it.

We tend to broadly dream and decide the habits we want to create, the goals we want to change, and the life we want to be living at the end of this new year, but we don’t take the time to dive into what this looks like and HOW we are going to get there.

3. We make goals based on what we want to change, but not what we’re actually committed to changing.

This is one so many people don’t think through. We think that because we set the goal, that means we must be committed to it. Since there is a sense of excitement when we think about hitting that goal, we feel that commitment must be there as well.

The problem is the excitement only lasts in the dreaming stage…in the beginning. Soon, after the year starts, work gets back into full swing, the normal drains of daily life start again, and the excitement is gone, and oftentimes, so is commitment.

But, you can break that cycle. Sticking to your goals and creating real, lasting habits is possible. It is possible to live out your resolutions and create a life you love, but if you want different results this year, you are going to have to approach your goals differently.

Here are 3 tools to help you cancel the quitting and develop new, lasting habits:

1. Narrow your focus.

Setting too many goals at one time makes it much harder to stick to your goals. So, focus on changing 1-2 areas first. Choose your top 1-2 areas you want to change and create new habits for, and focus ONLY on those. Create solid habits in those areas then move on to another area. Rinse and repeat.

2. Break it down.

If you want to create a new goal, you can’t just focus on the WHAT, you also have to determine the HOW. If you don’t have a plan for HOW you are going to reach your goal, when you get started, and it gets hard, you will quit because you don’t have a plan to stick to. If you want to stick to your goals this year, create a detailed plan of action to help guide you through the mundane of everyday life. How will you change this habit? Daily, what does that look like?

Ex: Habit you want to change: Drink more water. Right now, let’s pretend you drink a glass a day on a good day. Otherwise, it’s coffee and diet coke.

So, instead of saying more water and not defining what “more” is, you’re instead going to break that down so it’s measurable.

What is more? How much is more? How much would be a good place to start so that you can do it every day and begin the habit? Instead of simply saying “I want to drink more water,” you say, from Feb. 15th-28th, I’m going to drink 2 glasses of water a day. One with breakfast and one with lunch. Those are non-negotiable. Now you have a concrete, measurable goal to stick to. Next, find a way to track this goal. You can make a tracker or simply jot it down in your planner. This allows you to see your progress and get that daily win. By doing this, you are creating a detailed plan so you know exactly what you need to do on any given day to hit the mark and create that solid habit. With me?

3. Create a goal based on commitment.

So often, we make a decision on what habit we want to change or create and we make a goal based on where we want to be at the end of the year…our ideal behavior. But, we don’t think about the gap between where we are and where we want to be. This is a key mistake because that massive amount of change often leads to quitting.

Ex: I used to run 2 miles 5-6 days a week. Then, I got pregnant lol. I ended up bringing it down to a 2 mile walk 5-6 days a week because running made me cramp and was intense pressure on my bladder. I was legit scared of an accident. Lol.

Fast forward to after having my daughter. I wanted to get back into running, but every time I tried, I quit again. I couldn’t figure out why. Then, one day I realized that it was because I was trying to go straight back into what I used to do. That was something I wasn’t ready for physically and honestly didn’t have the time for anymore.

So, I sat down and decided what I could commit to. What was I willing to do week in and week out as a non-negotiable in this season of my life? I came up with a goal of going for a 1 mile run 4x a week. I knew I could find 30 minutes 4x a week to give back to myself. I knew this goal was attainable and sustainable in this season of my life. Which made my goal all of a sudden, become doable. And, I’ve been able to stay committed. By taking time to consider this season of life, and where I am physically, I was able to set myself up for success and stick to the goal I set.

Based on where you are now and what your life looks like now, you have to consider what you’re committed to. Adjust your start accordingly. It’s important to create a solid habit first, then you can increase from there to get to the endpoint you’re wanting.

Here’s the deal. Setting goals you are committed to that you can keep is teaching your brain that you are a trustworthy person. You are showing yourself that you can set and hit goals. The next time you set a goal, your brain will look back to this experience and think it’s possible because you’ve done it before. You’ll automatically have more confidence in yourself and your abilities.

Every time you choose to make a decision based on what you want most instead of what you want right now, you’re casting a vote for the woman you want to be. Do this day in and day out and watch as you become her. Every decision you make bleeds into other areas of your life. When you make a decision from emotion, that bleeds and will lead to more emotionally based decisions. When you make a decision out of discipline, that bleeds and will lead to more discipline-based decisions.

One of the biggest difference makers I believe you’ll see from implementing these changes is that you'll become someone who wins, who changes, who evolves, who keeps her word, who can create anything she wants, and who KNOWS it! So, go. Become HER.